Squidward the Lifesaver
by Angelwriter84
Summary: Squidward and Squilliam have always had a rivalry. But when Squidward is forced to deliver food to the Fancyson home, he witnesses something that could take the life of someone dear to Squilliam. Will he follow the rules of their rivalry, or save a life? Please read and review. Nonslash: Just a friendship story.


***Note to readers**

**Just a little short story featuring two of my favorite SpongeBob characters, Squidward and Squilliam. Only one OC is my original character, everyone else belongs to the directors, writers, producers, ect. of the Nickelodeon show SpongeBob SquarePants. Hope you enjoy! Please review if you have time to give feedback. Thanks for checking it out!**

**-Angelwriter84**

_Squidward_

"Please, _puh-leaze_ let something come along that will make this miserable shift go by faster!"

Squidward's eyes darted to the clock for what must have been the thousandth time that day. The second hand seemed to take years before it finally moved, changing 11:59 am to 12:00 pm.

Squidward fell back in the boat that separated him from the rotten junk food eaters. "Dear Neptune! Still eight hours to go! WHY me? Wh-h-h-hy!"

A hateful voice interrupted his mumbling. "HEY! I would like to order sometime today, buddy!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Squidward screamed at the cowering blue fish. Did these people have no respect?

"Mr. Squidward!" Mr. Krabb's scornful tone rang from his office.

Squidward folded his arms across his chest. "May I _take _your order?" he asked bitterly.

"Never mind what ya want. Out with ya!" Before Squidward knew it, Mr. Krabbs appeared from nowhere and shoved the blue fish out of the Krusty Krab.

Squidward sighed as Mr. Krabbs shoved him aside and stuck his head through the window to the kitchen.

"SpongeBob! Two Krabby Patties with two orders of medium Kelp Fries. And make it quick, boy!"

"Aye-aye, Captain!" There was a crash in the back as SpongeBob set to work. Squidward narrowed his eyes. _I am not about to go see what that was. _

Squidward braced himself and, right on time, Mr. Krabbs called for him. "Mr. Squidward! You'll be deliverin' these to the Fancyson residence."

"_What?!_ Mr. Krabbs…. We haven't delivered since the pizza incident."

Mr. Krabbs smirked and rubbed the pinchers of his claw together in a sign that stood for his true love; money. "Well, we do now. I'll be makin' a handsome delivery profit."

"Your order, sir!" The little Yellow Wonder held up a brown paper sack and saluted his boss.

"Thank ya, boy." Mr. Krabbs took the bag and held it out for Squidward to take.

Squidward got down on his knees. "Mr. Krabbs, don't make me take these to my arch rival's house! He'll never let me live it down if he sees me like this. Can't you get SpongeBob to do it? And _since when _does Squilliam eat this stuff anyway?"

Mr. Krabbs pried his leg away from Squidward and shoved the paper bag at him. "SpongeBob's got to stay here and fry up those patties. And stop yer whinin' and take these patties or yer _fired!_ One of his servants will probably take them off yer hands, anyway…"

And with that, Mr. Krabbs was gone. SpongeBob noticed Squidward flinch and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, buddy! Look on the bright side. You work at the best restaurant in the whole sea! And… Only a few more hours until your date with Squilvia!" He set a portrait of her beside the cash register and folded his hands behind his back with a smile.

Squidward sighed and picked up the picture of what must be the love of his life. At the sight of her, he perked up. "You're right, SpongeBob. Humiliation, you are just one step in the way of our date."

He set the picture back in its place and started his vehicle two minutes later.

It was a hassle just to get the security guard outside of the Fancyson home to get the authorization to open the gate. But, _finally_, Squidward parked just outside the luxurious doors and stood there clenching the reeking paper bag. He glanced at his watch. Five minutes, and no one came to the door. Not even a butler. Squidward could feel heat rising to his cheeks. Why order something if you aren't going to be there to take the darn thing?

He pushed on the door, half expecting it to be locked. To his surprise, the door swung open easily, revealing just the first floor of Squilliam's ridiculously luxurious home.

"Hello?" he called. No answer.

He turned to walk away, and startled at the sight of a tall butler standing behind him.

"Can I help you, sir?" His sophisticated tone seemed out of place for his physical appearance.

"I've got two Krabby Patties that someone ordered?" Squidward held up the paper bag without emotion.

The butler lightened up. "Oh, yes! The missus just told me that you could bring them straight to the Master's room. I'm sorry the house is a little empty. The Fancysons and staff are late for a big social event and they are looking for last minute food…."

The butler's babbling faded away as something else caught Squidward's eye. An old maid, the only one in sight at the time, crossed the room behind them and set a tray with two baby bottles down on the table. She robotically began preparing baby formula.

Squidward held back a smirk for the butler's sake. He had heard Squilliam had finally married his sweetheart from high school about a year ago (probably due the accident that nearly killed her), but he had only heard whispers about them having a baby. He tried his best to downplay any news regarding the success of his old rival; it was just too painful.

But if he knew Squilliam, he wasn't really the "fathering" type. To be honest, it was about time he married Squillia. They had been together since high school, and she was as famous a flag twirler in his band as she ever was in high school. But come to think of it, any piece of music Squidward heard out of Squilliam during the rumors of a new baby sounded….angry. Squidward thought he would keep the very thought of a child out of the picture until he and Squillia were in their forties.

But that was it! While Squilliam was tied down with a family, he was free to do whatever he wanted. Finally! He had something he might be able to rub in Squilliam's face.

He watched the maid prepare the bottles with an ambitious spark in his eyes, but the spark melted into disbelief at what he saw next.

The old maid looked around and pulled out a clear bottle from the pocket of her apron. She unscrewed the top and filled a dropper with the liquid. From there, she squirted two drops of the clear liquid into each bottle, and stuffed the clear stuff back in her apron. She shook the bottles again, revealing that the milk did not change color.

Squidward broke out into a sweat. _Oh, dear Neptune! What is that stuff?_ He was pretty sure clear liquid wasn't a part of a baby's formula. What if-

"Sir! Sir? You may follow me with the delivery."

Squidward startled. "Huh- Oh, right."

As Squidward started up the marble staircase, he felt his knees shake with each step. _What do I do?_

_Squilliam_

Squilliam awoke to the sound of a baby's cry from the room just down the hall from theirs. He tried to get Squllia to put the baby and her nanny a little further down the hall, but noooo.

Squilliam drifted into sleep, fully intending to ignore it, but a mumble from beside him kept him from doing so.

"Squilliam…"

The wealthy octopus slammed his fist into the softest of mattresses. "Oh, Squillia! WHY isn't Betty taking care of the baby? I'm trying to-"

"Sleep. I know. I had Betty take the night off. We are her parents, and that includes taking care of her at night. And I believe it is your turn, dear."

Squilliam glared at her smirk, then hid the smile on his own face and turned away without getting up. "How long since you tended to her last?"

"I fed her an hour ago." When Squillia turned over and drifted into sleep, Squilliam hurled the pillow from his head and checked the time. 3:03 am. He would never make it tomorrow.

He threw on his red bathrobe and stumbled into his new daughter's nursery, which was carefully made to be as luxurious as the rest of his home. Little Squilla stopped crying as soon as he flipped the light switch on.

He walked over to her crib and leaned on the side. As soon as the three month old saw him, she giggled and reached up for him. Squilliam trembled a bit. He still wasn't quite sure how to care for a child. He never even _wanted _children. Shortly after he married Squillia, he thought life couldn't be more perfect; until she broke the news to him that they were expecting a baby. Squilliam was fairly certain to this day he fainted. In the following weeks, he made as few public appearances as possible and never confirmed the rumors his fans were spreading. He hurt Squillia's feeling a lot and couldn't even produce decent musical pieces for a while. He just went through the motions: preparing his home for the baby, producing whatever he could throw together, speaking nonsense to his fans.

He never warmed up to the idea of a baby until Squillia handed their newborn daughter to him at the hospital. He fell in love with little Squilla from the time he held her in his arms, and vowed to give her everything she could dream of. But when it came to being a father…. Well, he was learning.

As soon as he managed to take her tiny, rubbery hands in his, he stopped shaking and was back to his old confident self.

"I hope you aren't waking the whole mansion just for attention, Squilla."

When she giggled, he reached under her arms to pick her up, only to hear a gross squishing sound. When he set her back down, she sniffled again as if she had just been reminded what she was crying for.

Squilliam pulled back the delicate sheets that were tucked around her, and stumbled back in horror. Obviously, Squillia _had _fed her… and it was something she wasn't agreeing with, considering both she and the sheets needed to be changed. This is where he drew the line. There was only one thing he _didn't _handle and it was matters like this.

"Neptune, no! Squillia!"

No response. Squilliam sighed and raced back into the oversized bedroom. "Squillia, come look at your daughter."

A minute or so later, Squilliam and Squillia walked back into the nursery, where their daughter was crying even louder than before.

Squilliam stood against the opposite wall while Squillia stumbled across the room, tying her caramel colored hair into a loose ponytail. "Honestly Squilliam, I don't see what's so bad about changing a-" She trailed off when she lifted the sheets off her daughter. "Oh."

"Exactly," Squilliam retorted from his corner.

Squillia examined the mess with dread, then soothed her daughter's cries with her beautiful voice, the gentlest voice he had ever heard coming from someone of their kind. "Well, Squilla," she cooed, "I can see why your father couldn't handle this. Let's see what we women can do... Squilliam?"

Just as Squilliam thought he would get out of this one, she was giving him orders. "Hand me some baby wipes, a diaper, a trash bag, and the trash can in the corner."

Squilliam rolled his eyes. The only time he had taken orders from _anyone _since he found success was Squillia. Shockingly, all the materials needed were on the neat shelf Betty had organized. He might even give her a raise for being such a good nanny, but these breaks Squillia insisted on should suffice.

He passed Squillia the materials as she worked, trying to avoid looking at the mess she was cleaning up. After about ten minutes, she had Squilla wiped down with a warm rag, changed into fresh clothes, and wrapped in her favorite blanket. She handed the now relaxed infant to Squilliam.

"Now, you can get her back to sleep while I change the sheets." She sounded so tired Squilliam almost felt bad.

"How do you do it, Squillia? I mean, this is precisely the kind of thing Betty is here for."

Squillia picked up the old diaper that looked more like a loaded grocery bag, nearly made him drop Squilla by acting like she was going to toss it at him, and finally chunked it in the trash. As she answered, she gathered the soiled sheets and tossed them in the trash bag. "I…just do, Squilliam. It's just what parents do, and I don't want fame and fortune to cause us to lose sight of our daughter. _We _need to be fulltime parents for her when we can, Squilliam."

As his wife went to scrub her own hands, Squilliam held his baby girl's hand in his and felt his heart break for her once again. "Oh, you're right, Squillia, but…"

"But what?" Squillia returned with new folded blankets and set them aside.

Squilliam couldn't hold it in any longer. "Should her diapers be _that _full? I could swear Betty has grumbled some complaints to me about it!"

Squillia laughed because, apparently, it was funny. "No, it shouldn't be this bad. I think we should carry her to the doctor and have him check her. I don't think her stomach agrees with the formula."

"Oh…" Squilliam sighed in relief and used his free arm for draw her into an embrace. "You are an amazing woman, Squillia. I…am trying to be a better father."

Squillia hugged him back and rubbed his shoulder. "Oh, you're a great father, Squilliam. It's just a learning experience, that's all."

"I love you so much, Squillia."

"I love you, too." Squillia laid her head on his shoulder, and then set to work changing the sheets.

He and Squillia had been together since high school, and he could honestly say out of all the celebrities he had met, he never loved another. But he never considered marriage until he nearly lost her a year ago. He stomped into her home in his director's outfit, angry the flag twirling head had not showed up to her own performance. He shouted when he spotted her still in PJ's and curled in a ball on her bed, lying next to her uniform. He tried shaking her, and grew frantic when she didn't respond. He called an ambulance upon discovering she had a high fever, forgetting all about the performance that afternoon.

From there, she underwent emergency surgery to remove her appendix and the infection it had caused. The doctor informed him that if he had gotten there any later, she would have died. Ashamed by his behavior and distressed that he could have lost the love of his life without her knowing how much he loved her, he pulled out the engagement ring he had been saving and proposed to her after she woke up. The wedding had been perfect and, to his surprise, the public absolutely loved it.

He sat down in the rocking chair with his daughter and began rocking, gently rubbing her back. But sadly, at three months old, Squilla was afraid she would miss something, and had the tendency to fight her sleep. Rubbing her back wasn't enough anymore.

Squillia kissed the baby's forehead and kissed his cheek before turning off the light and going back to bed, leaving them alone with just the dim lamplight. He sat there with her for what seemed like ages, and slowly became frustrated. Squilla did everything from giggling to crying to keep from falling asleep.

Squilliam shook his head. "This isn't working, is it?"

He placed Squilla in her crib and tucked the delicate covers around her, went and got his old clarinet he only whipped out on occasion, and played the softest of melodies.

Little Squilla's eyes popped open, then slowly began to droop. When she was just almost asleep, she raised her little hand and began moving it back and forth, back and forth. It was almost like she was….

Squilliam's eyes popped open when he realized what she was doing; it wasn't until her hand ceased to move that he realized the shock had caused him to stop playing.

When he resumed the melody, she moved her hand to the rhythm again. Squilliam's eyes shone as he played. Could it be true? Could their three month old daughter be trying to… _direct _the music?!

He considered waking Squillia, then decided against it and continued playing until the little hand dropped. He put away his clarinet and grabbed her little hand. "Oh, you're a Fancyson yet!" he whispered. He kissed her hand and tucked the covers around her little body before quietly exiting the room.

"Squilliam…. Squilliam!"

His heavy eyelids blurred to reveal his wife frantically shaking him. "Oh, honey…stop…." he mumbled. He turned over and once again folded the pillow over his head.

More shaking. "Squilliam, for the hundredth time, _get up_! We are _so _late!"

Squilliam squinted to see that Squillia was already halfway ready. "Tell them to cancel it… I can't…" he whined.

Squillia threw her hands in the air. "We can't! Honestly, Squilliam, you wake up once during the night and act like you've been up fifteen times."

She rushed into the master bathroom while tugging a brush through her beautiful hair. Squilliam slithered out of bed, tied his bathrobe together, and splashed water on his face as Squillia arranged her hair into a neat low ponytail tied together with a soft rose pink bow that matched her dress.

Squilliam took her hand and twirled her around. "For being a mother that's been woken up three times, you look just like the beautiful mother of a musical prodigy."

Squillia laughed and smoothed out the modest, flowing dress with the elegant dangling sleeves. "Musical prodigy? Did I miss something?"

"Your daughter was _directing _the music while I played her lullaby last night, Mrs. Fancyson." He adjusted the bow tie on his suit with a smirk.

"You mean she…"

When Squilliam nodded, she threw her arms around him. "Oh, Squilliam! I want to see!"

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Squilliam stomped his foot. No one, and that meant _no one _came to their door without permission.

"Who is that?" he asked, quickly becoming frustrated. It was a widely known fact that he wasn't his best in the morning.

"Oh, that's our delivery from the Krusty Krab. We forgot to give the staff notice to prepare for the event, so I told them to forget breakfast and start preparing dinner for the event. I got us takeout." As Squillia went to the door, Squilliam shivered and fought the urge to throw up.

"You mean you ordered us that junk and let the delivery guy _into our home_?"

"Yes, and they are people just like us. We aren't too good for this kind of thing, dear. Now get your wallet ready, or you don't eat."

Squilliam rolled his eyes, then brightened deviously. "I wonder if Squiddy happens to be working today…?"

Squillia glared at him, perfectly aware of what was going on inside his head. "Maybe, and don't you dare be rude to him."

_Squidward_

Squidward quaked in his place while the butler tapped on the door to what must be Squilliam's room; suddenly, rubbing his freedom in Squilliam's face seemed as far away from his mind as it could be right now.

_Oh, shrimp. How do I tell them? What if I'm wrong?_

After some mumbling and rustling inside, Squillia quietly opened the door and smiled when she saw him.

"Squidward! It's been so long. How are you?"

"F-Fine…"

Squillia was as beautiful as ever; he always liked her in school because she was always kind (unlike her husband), but he never stood a chance against "Squilliam Fancyson III." Now that he met Squilvia, he was glad things turned out as they did, but that didn't mean he didn't care for her. No one so kind deserved to lose a child.

Squidward stiffened when a familiar, nasally voice interrupted their conversation. "Hello, Squiddy! Out delivering food again, eh?"

Squidward narrowed his eyes at his arch rival, standing there with his unibrow cocked and a smirk on his face. He had never had anything taken away from him in his life. _But…this is different…._

"It's $35.97. Can I talk to you for a sec-"

The smirk was wiped from Squilliam's face. He snatched the bag away and fished out a Krabby Patty. "What! For this thing?"

Squidward threw his arms down in frustration. "Congratulations, the cheapest crab in town just charged you a $25.00 delivery fee… Hey, I…."

"Oh, Squilliam, stop being rude. It _is _a long drive and they normally don't deliver…" Squillia reasoned.

"But I didn't even want this junk!"

Squidward rolled his eyes. _Figures._

Squillia peeled back the paper from the patty and held it out to him. Squilliam jerked away like it was slime mold.

"Just taste. They are good for fast food… I've tried them myself."

Squilliam hesitantly took the patty and took a tiny bite like someone was force feeding him poison, which, in Squidward's opinion, was about right. Surprisingly, Squilliam seemed to think a moment, then pulled out his wallet without any more fussing and handed him the money.

"For the food. And here's your tip, delivery boy." Squilliam handed over an extra quarter and laughed obnoxiously.

Squidward narrowed his eyes and nearly turned away without a word. Only a gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks.

"Wait, Squidward." Squillia turned to her husband; Squidward couldn't see the look, but Squilliam rolled his eyes and pulled out a $5.00 bill.

"Here," he said begrudgingly, "for the less successful."

As Squidward snatched it away and stuffed it in his pocket, he caught sight of the old maid carrying the tray down the hall. He wondered how many bottles she had prepared for the baby. She disappeared into the room down the hall a moment, then came back out and went back down the stairs. A few seconds later, a big woman (the nanny, he guessed) came out carrying a tiny baby girl wrapped in a white blanket with gold trim. Squidward flinched when she handed the baby to Squillia.

"Here she is, all dressed up and ready to go. But I can't seem to get her to eat, Miss. I'm sorry, but…"

"It's alright, Betty," Squillia pulled back the blanket and greeted her daughter. "Good morning, baby."

Squilliam seemed a little unsecure as he stood up straight and pinched his daughter's little cheek. "Squidward, this is our new daughter, Squilla."

He actually sounded like he was _bragging_, but yet…he seemed so uncomfortable. This was Squidward's chance! _But…_

Betty spoke up. "I'm not sure if she's well enough to go to the event. She seems to be running a fever."

"What?" Squillia felt of her daughter's forehead with a look of worry in her eyes. Squilliam bent over his daughter and peered into her face, forgetting all about Squidward.

Squidward sighed. He had to tell them.

"Squillia, does she have to have a certain…medicine….in her formula?"

_That sounded completely weird. _

Squillia's voice shook. "No…."

Squilliam jerked around. "Why?" he snapped.

Squidward could feel the sweat running down his face. "Because, I…"

He took a deep breath. "I think we need to go somewhere more private."

A few minutes later, he told them everything he saw in Squilla's nursery. When he finished, Squillia looked down at her baby in horror while Squilliam sat in shock. It didn't take him long to snap out of it.

"You mean to tell me that the maid who's been with my family since I was a boy is _poisoning _my daughter?! That's ridiculous. I know we have a rivalry, Squidward, but to lie about…"

"Why would I lie about that?!" Squidward snapped.

Squillia touched her husband on the shoulder, still shaking. "Squilliam, maybe we should make sure… She _has _been sick…."

"Don't you have security cameras in the house, or something?" Squidward asked.

Squilliam stood. Squidward would never think so, but he obviously trusted this maid for some reason. "I want to see if for myself," he said quietly, "when is the next time Molly prepares the formula, Betty?"

"Around three, sir."

Squilliam begrudgingly turned to Squidward. "Can you be back here by then?"

"What do you want me for?"

Squilliam raised his eyebrow. "If she's done what you say, that shouldn't be a problem."

_At least I get out of work. _Squidward nodded and turned away from a nervous mother and father hovering over their infant.

As he was leaving, Squilliam's butler came to the bottom of the stairs and called up for his master.

"Master, Missus! They are ready to take you to the big event!"

Squilliam's response could have echoed through Bikini Bottom for all the house knew. "CANCEL IT! WE'RE NOT APPEARING!"

After another few miserable hours of work and SpongeBob's babbling, Squidward pulled back into the Fancyson driveway. He still smirked at the fact that he had persuaded Mr. Krabbs that Squilliam would pay the difference for his missed hours.

As soon as he tapped on the door, Squilliam snatched him inside and pulled him behind the staircase with Squillia, the butler, and Betty. "Way to cut it close, nitwit!"

Squidward shoved him off. "You said three!"

They watched from the staircase as the old maid looked around the kitchen and, thank goodness for Squidward, repeated her actions from that morning. Squillia clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress a cry. Squilliam stood frozen a moment, then pulled out something like a pair of rubber gloves from his shirt pocket and slapped the old maid on the shoulder as she started for the stairs. The loud pop made everyone watching flinch.

Squilliam spun her around to face him and jerked the bottle out of her apron. He stared at the label, then handed it to Squillia with a blank look. Squillia looked at the bottle, then dropped it in Squidward's hands and ran upstairs to get her baby.

Squidward squinted at the label on the bottle and realized he had been right to tell Squilliam. The maid had been giving the baby one of the most fatal poisons in the sea. It was colorless, odorless, and did not kill you instantly if given in small doses. It killed you over time. Squilla might still die.

Squidward flinched when he focused on the outward world again. Squilliam had old Molly by the arm and was yelling, screaming, at her. Strangely, the old woman never flinched.

"….I trusted you, Molly! I took you in because you've been with my family for years! WHY would you poison my daughter?! Why would you do that to her?!"

When she didn't answer, Squilliam shook her so hard by the arm that she fell to her knees. Squidward wouldn't soon forget the determined look on her face when she looked up at her master. "When I raised you as a boy, Squilliam Fancyson, I never thought you would turn out to be like the rest of your family. But when you found fame, you became just like your father. You are a brute, Squilliam, and you don't deserve happiness. Your daughter will turn out just. like. You."

For a moment, Squilliam's eyes shone with moisture. His butler caught his hand when he raised it. "Sir, let's let law enforcement intervene. You don't want to get into trouble right now."

Squilliam slowly lowered his hand, but kept Molly by the arm with a saddened look. Squillia ran down the stairs with her baby, both crying.

"Squilliam! She's choking," wailed a panicked Squillia as she ran up to the nanny. "Betty!"

Betty quickly took the baby and turned her so that she was facing down. As soon as she did, little Squilla vomited, then began screaming.

Squilliam practically shoved Molly at the butler and went to his daughter's side. "Oh, shrimp! Someone call an ambulance. Squidward, please!"

Squidward shook his head to clear his mind and called the ambulance and the police. Little Squilla was instantly put on oxygen and rushed to the hospital. Squilliam stayed behind with Squidward and showed the footage of Molly's plot from their security tape to the cops. As soon as Squidward confirmed he saw it, Molly was taken away by the police.

Late that night, Squidward stood at the hospital window. Squilliam and Squillia held back tears as they waited for news of their daughter's condition. It wasn't until 9:00 pm that he remembered he missed his date. _Holy shrimp, Squilvia will hate me!_ And he left his phone at the Krusty Krab. Of all the rotten luck.

Suddenly, her voice sounded from behind them. "Oh, Squilvia! I came as soon as I could. Are you alright, dear?"

He turned just in time to see Squillia run into Squilvia's arms and burst into tears. Squilvia rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. Like him, she didn't seem to know quite what to say. "Oh, Squillia, I'm sorry this happened. Everything's going to be alright…."

Squidward gradually approached her, confused. "Squil…vi…a?"

She seemed just as confused when she saw him, and startled in surprise. "Squidward!"

At the same time, they both spread their hands. "I'm sorry I missed-"

They froze and laughed nervously when they realized what just happened. Squilvia was Squillia's best friend.

Squillia drew back and held onto Squilliam when he put his arm around her. "You…know each other?" she asked.

Squidward blushed and cleared his throat. "Yeah, we're…umm…."

"We're dating," Squilvia finished proudly as she pinched his cheek, "and I have to say he is the best boyfriend ever!"

Squilliam just cocked his eyebrow, but Squillia managed a shaky smile. "Oh, that's so wonderful. I'm so happy for you two. Maybe…we could all arrange to go out on a double date sometime." She looked up at her husband as if it were a question, but Squilliam just rolled his eyes full circle and stared at the corner with the classic "I don't know about that" look. Squidward didn't like the sound of it either, so he felt it appropriate to whistle and stare at the corner opposite Squilliam's like he wasn't listening.

Squilvia jumped in excitement and grabbed her hand. "Oh, of course! We could…."

And from there, Squidward really stopped listening as they talked about what they could do on the date that would never happen. Whatever kept Squillia's mind off her daughter until the doctor came in.

It seemed like they switched positions fifteen times in the waiting room before the doctor finally came in. Squidward was sitting against the wall sipping coffee with an arm around Squilvia, who was sleeping on his shoulder.

When the doctor came in and called them back, Squillia indicated they would come back with news when they could by holding up her hand with a "just a sec" gesture. Squidward nodded and rubbed Squilvia's shoulder to wake her.

A few minutes later, Squilvia rubbed her eyes. "How did she find out that Squilla was…poisoned….anyway?"

Squidward thought about how to answer without "tooting his own horn."

"When…I…delivered Krabby Patties to their house this morning, I….just happened to see the maid preparing the formula when I….walked past," he said uncertainly.

Squilvia blinked. "You mean…. _You _are the one who told them about it? And with the way you feel about Squilliam?"

Squidward confirmed it by sipping his coffee. Was his rivalry with Squilliam so obvious even Squilvia saw it?

Squilvia grinned proudly and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Squidward. You may have saved that baby's life. That was so nice of you!"

Squidward hugged her back. "I couldn't walk away," he stated.

He blushed when Squilvia kissed his cheek.

Later, they stood when they spotted Squilliam and Squillia approaching.

Squilvia grabbed Squillia's hand. "How is she?"

Squilliam and Squillia smiled at one another.

"She's stable for now," Squilliam stated.

Despite having almost no connection with the family, Squidward drew in a deep breath of relief.

Squillia grabbed Squilliam's hand and squeezed. "The doctor said it was a close call, and she will need a few more procedures done in the ICU unit….but we think she's going to make it! And it's all thanks to you, Squidward. Thank you."

Squidward felt heat in his cheeks when she gave him a hug. As soon as she let him go, Squilliam stepped forward and, for the first time in their lives, shook his hand with a sincere look.

"Squidward, thank you for saving my daughter's life. I…could never repay you enough for what you've done."

Squidward nodded, then broke the silence the only way he knew how. "So…how are you going to start?"

Squilliam smirked. "Clarinet lessons."

Squidward startled and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, shut it."

_Squilliam_

Squilliam smirked as Betty grew impatient with Squillia's uncertainty.

"Oh, Miss…. I'm fairly certain I can prepare a bottle for Squilla!"

He and Squillia fully trusted Betty, but it was their first night away from home since Squilla's recovery, and Squillia had been preparing the baby's bottles herself. Squillia was nervous about being away from Squilla, but Squilliam thought they needed it. For quite a few weeks, Squilla had been hooked to so many chords and machines that it seemed unreal she could tolerate them. But the little prodigy was strong. And now she was finally healthy and happy. Even a double date with Squidward and Squilvia sounded nice after being stuck close to home for the last month. Plus, being at the same table with his rival and their dates sounded interesting. He was already recalling stories that might embarrass Squiddy.

He set the tray of newly replaced bottles on the table. "Alright, Betty. Let's go over this _again. _So Squillia feels comfortable."

He smirked when Betty huffed, and mixed the formula as he spoke. "First you take a little bit of this formula, but not too much because she can't tolerate a full dose of it. Then you take the cereal and mix it in with that, then add water and shake it."

Squilliam slammed the bottle on the table in front of them with a smirk. Squillia gasped. "You learned how to make her formula?"

"Of course I did!" He leaned down and pinched his baby girl's little cheek, causing her to giggle. "I'm her father, aren't I?"

"Where did you learn that?" Squillia teased.

"From Betty," he answered with a cocked eyebrow.

Squillia giggled and looked down at her daughter. "Alright, I guess I get the point."

Squilliam chuckled when he saw that one of his fans had managed to sneak to the window, and posed confidently so he could snap a picture of him standing next to his wife and daughter with a prepared bottle in his hand. The fan gave him a thumbs' up and ran off.

As they all laughed, the butler announced Squidward and Squilvia.

When Squidward entered the room. Squilla cooed and reached out for him. Squilliam blew air out the side of his mouth. _Perfect. _

"Ah, hey… Squilla…" He reached out nervously and shook her little hand.

Squilvia crossed her arms. "She wants you to hold her, Squidward."

As soon as Squilliam saw him shake his slightly, he grabbed Squilla and placed her in his arms before Squidward saw it coming. "Oh, of course she does, Squiddy!" he said sweetly.

Squidward shook like a maraca until Squilla made a gurgling noise and slobbered on his shirt. Squidward gasped and shoved Squilla into Betty's arms. Squilliam waved a handkerchief in front of his face until he took it.

Everyone, especially Squilliam, laughed as he wiped at his shirt. "Hilarious," Squidward said unenthusiastically as he exited the Fancyson house, "I'm sure the evening couldn't be much worse than the way it started."

Squilliam kissed his daughter's forehead and chased after Squidward eagerly as Squilvia and Squillia rolled their eyes.

"Oh, I don't know about that, Squiddy. I have _plenty _of stories to share in the limo!"

***The end. As always, poor Squidward. Haha. Hope you enjoyed it! **


End file.
